Honestly I don’t know why I even have notes for this show, it was so bad. Yes, I do: just look at those guys! They’re the Goblin Knights, and they are awesome. And, Production I.G does know how to make a pretty anime. So, let’s give this a shot.
Fena: Pirate Princess follows Fena Houtman, a girl of some wealth and privilege who believes herself to be the sole survivor of a pirate attack on her family at sea. She washes up at Shangri La, a state-sponsored brothel island, working there as a servant to the courtesans until she comes of age. The story opens with Fena engagingly regaling one of the courtesans with her wild, hand-drawn plans to escape her prima noctae, which has gone to the highest bidder, a pretty bad dude. She’s rescued from that gross fate not by any of her plans but by some long-lost figures from her childhood, and a new set of allies—the Goblin Knights, a group of mercenaries who live in an island stronghold given to them by Fena’s grandfather on the condition they protect the family. Even though they’re all wearing samurai helmets, Fena recognizes one of the knights, by his riveting black eyes, as Yukimaru, the little servant boy who saved her during the pirate attack 10 years before.
The two clearly have feelings for each other but no vocabulary to express them, and at any rate, they’re immediately embroiled in a race to a mysterious treasure trove called Eden, which Fena’s father directed her to seek out with his dying words. She hopes it will hold the key to her true identity; the Goblin Knights are after something else entirely. So are the various adversaries who keep popping out of alleys and caves, mostly trying to kidnap Fena, who’s apparently at least part of the key to unlocking Eden.
From there honestly the story just gets dumb and dumber, so I’m not going to waste any more time explaining it. Let’s just get to the redraft, shall we?
What I liked:
- The Goblin Knights: the character design is gorgeous, they’re nicely balanced as a group with Yukimaru as the strong, silent type; Shitan as his fanboy and competitor; Makaba as the good-hearted tank (and shoddy bowsmith); Karin as the whip-smart steampunk inventor; Tsubaki as the cook and general nanny of the group; and Enju and Kaede as the goofball monkey twins. Plus there’s the grandfatherly clan head Yukihisa, who’s clearly harboring some dark secrets, and his lethal son Kei, whom everyone’s terrified of. (It’s pretty clear this family owes a fair amount to the Zoldyck assassin family from Hunter x Hunter, but it works!)
- The production: Production I.G has deep pockets, and they show in this series. The design is clean, early 00s in style, and the CGI, particularly around Eden, is tasteful and effective. Character design reminded me a lot of Psychopass.
What I didn’t like: Pretty much everything else.
- The story makes no sense, to the degree where it’s quicker just to throw it out and start over. The writer tried to wedge the entire Western historical and mythological canon, including the Bible, into a love story over 12 episodes. There was no chance of it ever working.
- I just CAN’T ANYMORE with the white virgin in distress trope. Fena’s character is the absolute worst; fresh mozzarella has more heat. About halfway through the series I found myself hoping SOMEONE would make her walk the plank so the story could actually go somewhere instead of death-spiraling around her, when she’s literally just a white canvas for everyone to project their fantasies onto.
What I would change: easy—make the series about the Goblin Knights and their multi-generational quest to return the stolen Kusanagi sword to Japan in an “alternative” history in which the West is gaining a dangerous amount of global power; it has a lot of resonances with current debates over Japanese nationalism and pacifism. There are so many juicy hints about the Sanada clan dropped in the current series that don’t get enough airtime*: the clan’s history as mercenaries, including murmurs about them having turned the tide at the Battle of Dunkirk by slaughtering 3,000 Spaniards; why Kei terrifies everyone (including me! But after all that buildup, he literally shows up for 5 seconds in the series outro to take delivery of a package. Wuh-wuhhhh); the clan’s blood oath with the Dutch Houtman merchant dynasty; Yukimaru and Shitan’s fraught bromance; how Karin acquired her tech training, and so on. It’s clear even in the present series that there are a number of tenuous fault lines in the family: it’d be great to put some more tension on those, perhaps through episodic encounters with the other characters in the series: Abel Bluefield, Anne Bonnie, Ayla the miner’s daughter, maybe even Fena if she can buck the eff up.
How about it, Production I.G—can we get a Goblin Knights spinoff? I’d watch that all day.
The Rookery 