There was this nice older lady at my church growing up, Bea Eschelmann, and she told my mom a story once about when her immigrant mother got her first washing machine, she petted it and whispered reverently, “Bless-ed machine.” Thus, my mom used to occasionally bless some device that was saving her time in the truly unending grind of being a wife, mom, and a full-time working chemist. And I do it, too. Here’s my top-10 list of blessed machines in my life to date, in no particular order. I realize that some of these things are not strictly speaking machines, but I say they meet the criteria of saving me time and thus sticking it to the patriarchy:
- Microwave oven: I’ve already written about my deep and abiding love affair with the microwave. Can’t even count the hours it’s saved me, not to mention the burned pecans, because for the life of me I cannot remember to keep an eye on anything that’s toasting in a pan.
- Dishwasher: This thing is probably singlehandedly responsible for women entering the workplace in any serious numbers. Ditto for Mrs. Eschelmann’s washing machine, though I can’t speak to that personally: while I have lived in apartments that didn’t have a dishwasher and so have felt that pain, the only time I’ve done all my laundry by hand was while backpacking.
- The Internet: Hard to pat it on the head, but would if I could. True there are some serious offsets here if you think about all the time I’ve wasted on the Internet…. But the ability to look up something I needed to know on the spot on the spot–like how to make baking powder or if grape hyacinth is poisonous to dogs or not–has truly been life-changing. Takes all the fun out of betting your friends, though, if you can settle the bet immediately without having to go to the library or calling someone on the phone….
- Chop saw: Trying to cut weird angles on weirdly-routed baseboards with a hand saw or a mitre kit? Nope. Done in 15 seconds with a chop saw with its rotating, locking deck and angle markers.
- Single-stream recycling: Man, the amount of time this saved me, not having to run bottles to one place and paper to another, etc. I can’t even begin to calculate.
- Dremel: When things are still attached to things and you don’t want them to be anymore, or when you need to cut weird, small holes in things, or when you need to trim dog toenails? Nothing beats a Dremel.
- Sawz-all: Same thing as the Dremel except for big stuff. Need a window in that wall? Already there.
- Clothes steamer: Where have you been all my life? OK, fine, lots of people had them this whole time, but my mom only bought me one last year, and it has been singlehandedly responsible for my swanning around unwrinkled since then (or, more accurately, for me wearing any of my clothes that require ironing). Unfolding an ironing board is apparently one step too many for me on the staircase to presentability. Thanks, steamer!
- Digital scale: Being able to just slap a bowl on there and dump baking ingredients in, taring in-between to get the right weights without having to do pesky subtraction, has made a world of difference in my baking; meaning, I actually do it now. Having to scoop and level various cups and spoons and then wash all that stuff is for the birds.
- Instant-read thermometer: I am extremely bad at guessing when things are cooked correctly or hot enough, and by the time I waited for an analog thermometer to tell me the deal, it was usually too late.
The Rookery 