Unauthorized Uses: The Microwave

I love using things in ways they were never intended. And the microwave oven is probably one of my favorite toys in this regard. I’m a pretty serious cook and foodie, and so my friends are often a bit shocked to discover that not only do I own a microwave, I use it pretty much every day. But not necessarily the ways you’d expect.

• Warming up plates: this is definitely an unauthorized use. You’re not supposed to run a microwave empty. But, I put a paper towel on top of the plates to scatter the EM waves a bit, and I only run it for 1 minute or less. I’ve never had a problem doing it, and it’s so much faster than sticking plates in the oven (like you’re ever going to remember to do that). I hate it when cold plates suck the life out of food that’s supposed to be hot, and the microwave is my secret weapon in this war.
• Toasting nuts: this is a hack from J. Kenji Lopez-Alt over at Serious Eats. Microwaving solves two very common problems with toasting nuts: 1. Heating up a whole oven for like 12 stupid nuts; and, 2. Forgetting the nuts in there and burning them. You just put them on a paper towel on the turntable and microwave them on high for 1 minute, then stir and keep adding 30 seconds until they sound sizzly and smell toasty. I find 2 minutes or less does the trick for most nuts, but it will definitely depend on the power of your oven, so go slowly until you get it dialed in. BTW Kenji says you can also dry herbs and petals in your microwave, but I’ve never bothered as I basically live in a dehydrator.
• Making a proofing box for bread: speaking of desert climates…my kitchen is much too dry and often too cool to proof bread adequately in anything like the time the recipe calls for (usually 1.5 hours or something like that). So, I microwave a cup of water for 2 minutes, then push it into the back corner, stick in my bread in its bowl, and slam the door shut. Voilà, a nice, moist 85-ish degree proofing box.
• Sanitizing kitchen sponges: This isn’t a big problem for me because, once again, I live in a desert, but every now and then a relatively new kitchen sponge gets mildewy. Get it nice and soapy wet, then microwave it on high for 1-2 minutes until it’s dried out (don’t go crazy with the time unless you want a flaming sponge). Mildew is banished.
• Warming up eggs for baking recipes: evil but effective. Some baking recipes really don’t work if you try to beat in eggs straight from the frig; they chill the fat and make it solidify into granules that can wreck the texture of cakes and make cookies oily and flat. So, when I forget to take my eggs out in advance (read: all the time), I just pop them, right in the shell, in the microwave for 10 seconds or less to bring them up close to room temperature. Works gangbusters. Again, really go easy on the time here or you are going to have hard boiled eggs or egg grenades.
• Peep jousting. ‘Nuff said.